dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
As shirtless as possible
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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