the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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