And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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