Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
