What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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