The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
