i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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