I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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