so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize