No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
