and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
