I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
