I smell stomach acid.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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