You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
