He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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