there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
