He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
