They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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