He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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