she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
