I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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