I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
