I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
