At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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