he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
