Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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