we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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