actually, I'm a sock model
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
