If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
soo... how was my night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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