garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
