The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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