So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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