I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
