I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
