dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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