I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
