I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
