my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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