I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
