Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
