doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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