Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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