I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
