There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize