Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
