Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
