My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
