I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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