Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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