Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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