every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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