and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
