how can u be prego again
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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