belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
