winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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