He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
