After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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