Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
