hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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