Yo dont text me then not text me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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