he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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